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Friday, December 27, 2013

anaks

stress dengan orang yang mampu marah anak dia yang kecil, sampai anak tu menangis-nangis sepanjang jalan lepas tu sambung tengking sampai suara lagi kuat dari raung tangis si anak. lepas tarik anak jalan laju-laju sampai anak tu mcm nak tersungkur pun ada. waduh. sabar ye dik.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Making someone's day.

2 things (among myriad of others) you can do to make someone's day (even a random person you passed when walking to school!): 

1. giving a smile
    - tapi kalau orang tu tak balas, jangan stress pula!
    - even better, give a nod with a greeting :D

2. contact those you're missing for
   - they could be missing you as well but ain't got time to give a whatsapp ;p


Tuesday, December 10, 2013

home.

I want HOME.

longlai.

menanti hari demi melihat hari pergi
mengejar puncak sungguh tahu kan jatuh kembali
mungkin juga kejar puncak tak cukup tinggi.

gembira.bahagia.
amal. dosa
absolute atau relative?

mahkamah itu berbisik,
menilai longlai,
mungkin gusar takdir sempit menyingsing.
atau mungkin gusar taksir hadirin asing?




Monday, November 11, 2013

Giving the right gift to the right people.

I have had the chance to take part in a few volunteering/ humanitarian projects and I know how these projects normally need us to look for sponsor or raise funds. And this takes a lot of time and effort, not forgetting lots of people,  depending on the scale of projects we involve in.

From what I see, from what I read, much efforts are given to plan on how to raise fund, and how to do activities, but not on what the target group really needs to be helped on. So, sometimes, aids are given on trivial and unnecessary things.

It's easy to lose track on what your intentions are, especially if you are working in an already established organisation.
Sometimes, we tend to do things according to what have been done in previous years (ikut tradition).
Sometimes, we tend to do things just for the sake of spending the funds we got.
Sometimes, we tend to do things to fill up the 5-day activities schedule we had allocated for.
Sometimes, we do things that look great (or fun for us, the members) when in fact,  that is not fundamentally needed by the target group.



I just think that people need to give attention to carry out objective-based project, rather than activity-based or tradition-based project. It's time to educate the people particularly youth to organise things correctly, not just technical-wise but also objective and intention-wise. Scrutinise and find out on what the target group really needs. This may be tangible (like daily essentials such as food) or intangible (such as education). This might be helping them in short term or long term. Know the kind of help you wish to offer with regards to the capacity you have. Ask the representative/leader/contact from the target group on what they really need. Do not just assume. Plan wisely on how to make full use of the funds you have. In fact, the first thing to make sure is to choose the right target group.

I just think that it's such a waste to spend the funds/money/energy/time we have on things that are not really needed by the people.

Look at what the people really need, set target on how much we can possibly help, search for funds, and reassess on our capacity to help.

What is not right is to plan plan plan on what you want to help without paying attention to what the people really need. You have decided to spend your time and energy to help. Now, help with the right help. hand with the right hand. Give the right gift! Go, go, go! :)

In fact, this applies to not just humanitarian projects, but any project or programme organised. Be an objective-based organiser!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i am just one girl with many dreams.
mahu mengarang cv hebat kononnya,
namun tertawa sendiri.

baris bakti konon tak terkata,
humanitarian, volunteering dikejar segala,
mahu merasa diri berguna,
namun kesannya tak seberapa.

tiba masa.
untuk mencari.
apa sebetulnya mampu mengisi.
mengisi ruang rekahan di bumi,
biar benar-benar mengisi.
bukan sekadar menutup di atas namun lompong di bawah.
bukan sekadar mencari sponsor dan menabur entah kemana,
bukan sekadar tampak di CV, harapku biarlah benar-benar merawat hati
biar menyinar dalam gelap
bukan menyinar dalam terik.

Mungkin lebih sukar untuk itu?
mungkin lebih titis peluh?
mungkin lebih cawan caffeine?
mungkin lebih kerut dahi?
tak mengapa.
Allah kira usaha mu.
tiap peluh, cawan dan kerut kamu,
takkan pernah rugi.

Friday, November 8, 2013

satu demi satu


berikanlah kesempatan buat diri mencari erti,
erti siapa diri, apa kucari, kemana pergi,
berikanlah kesempatan untuk ku belajar,
belajar mengerti jiwa luar lantas berbakti
agar dapat ku ambil cebisan harga diri,
kucantum jadi kibasan berseri.

Sungguh ku hilang dalam kabus,
kupercaya belum tertimbus
andai ku cuma mengikut jari 
kudoa hikmah jelma kembali

Friday, October 25, 2013

How surfers and insects become friends

I still remembered this one time when I was still in primary school. In exam, I got wrong for one question which asked on the reason why a pin would float on a bowl of water. We complained so much (okay, maybe it was just me who complained. lol) when we were marked wrong for putting lower density of pin relative to water as the answer. Instead, the real  answer was surface tension. We were not taught so much of surface tension back then, but as I grow up during my schooling years, my wonderment of surface tension also grows.

A bit of definition here (zzzz), surface tension is the force produced between molecules of liquid on its surface. 

Imagine water molecules now. Imagine them in bulk and those at the surface attracting one another (tarik.....tarik...). If the liquid is in container, you should imagine the water molecules at the surface (on top) would now act like a barrier or form a skin. 

That's why the pin in a bowl of water can float(say oooohh). 

That also explains why we can pour water a little bit above the glass rim(say aaaah). 

Not just that, surface tension is what permitting the insects like water striders to walk on the water( say fuyyo). Awesome sangat. As if what liquid to us become solid to them. 

But hey, human beings are smart too to utilise this special nature of nature by creating water surface sports like surfing! (which I am yet to try aside from boat paddling) Haruslah! Semua yang Allah ciptakan kat dunia ni kan untuk manusia :) 

Not just that, when you pour water onto a surface which is waterproof like tents or waxed mirror, you can see droplets of water scattered on the surface instead of water wetting the whole surface. This also goes down to attraction of water molecules which are pulled towards the centre, forming droplets. 

And for this past few weeks, in university, we have been taught about surface tension in the lungs. If without surface tension, when our chest expands, the lungs will not expand together. So, awesome and all-knowing Allah gave us thin layer of fluid between our lungs and our thorax cavity (lets just say the inner chest as nana's so called layman term). The force of attraction between the molecules of fluid/water causes the outer later of the lungs to be sealed to the inner chest, hence when we breathe in, it starts with chest expansion which leads into the sealed lungs being expanded as well. Only then, air can come in! 

Kenapa kena tahu ni? so that when we look at water droplets, we can know realise how amazing the creator of the water droplets is. So, that when we go surfing next time, we know that it isn't us being cool to surf, but it's the cool Almight who creates the ground for us to surf. 

And just so know, water surface tension in your lungs sangat berharga tahu? People who suffer from emphysema for instance have some of the tissues in their lungs damage, hence surface tension pun affected, causing structures like bronchioles to easily collapse and that makes it difficult to breathe. 

Hargailah setiap saat kamu mampu menarik nafas dan udara mampu untuk tertarik. Cuz behind that, lies thousands of His Wonder.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

eid mubarak

Alhamdulillah, dua minggu sudah. Dua minggu sudah pulang ke Bumi Inggeris yang tak-berapa-nak-rasa-omputih ni. harhar. Baru pulang dari camp semalam- jumpa dengan jiwa-jiwa baru di UK (read Malaysian freshers). Baru pulang dari iftar petang tadi dengan orang-orang Leicester (read Malaysians). Alhamdulillah. Hee..It does feel homely. Yes, it does.

Baru dua minggu juga bergelak ketawa kembali dengan groupmates yg masing2 dengan karenah masing-masing (yes, you can read British locals this time). And am looking forward for an Eid Lunch with Muslim Pakistani friends this Friday insha Allah.

I had the task of chairing the sharing session this evening. Asked the freshers on their expectations. Cause I think the biggest mistake I made when I first arrived in UK was not setting up an expectation. Not doing any mindsetting. Mindsetting on what I wish to achieve. In my study. In my personal development. In my tarbiyah.

Thought I might share some points (or maybe personal views) here:

1. It's really important to plan on what you want to achieve. Seriously, plan. Plan seriously.

2. It's important to know that there are such things as good and bad things. Have self control on imposing good deed and restraining from bad things.

3. It's also vital to know that we have more than one role. A child, a friend, a student, a group mate, a naqibah (if you are), a sister, and many others. Ten persons you know in life make at least ten different roles for you.

4. And the third point also tells that, we should know how to prioritise. Priority changes according to situations. But, may it always be a priority that is deemed as priority in Allah's view.

5. Be principled. If you meet a thousand individuals outside there, you'll find a thousand principles. But in that crowd, trust me, majority of people tend to follow majority. In the end, principles combine and become homogenous and hence the majority's principle becomes mainstream. That has pros and cons of course. That tells how majority view can influence you a lot. But stick to what you think is right. But make sure what you think is right is really right. And it also tells how we, as human beings are in need of human support around us.

6. Be open minded. Now this seems to contradict the previous point. But we can be open minded whilst being principled. Just as how in human interaction, we sometimes can mix, but not blend.

I hope my points are not superficial, especially for my own self to practise. Arrr..

kerna diri ini cukup tahu bahawa berkata2 itu memang mudah. yang susah itu melangkah.

oh and... EID MUBARAK!





Friday, July 26, 2013

Menjadi diriku

Menjadi diriku
Dengan segala kekurangan
Menjadi diriku
Atas kelebihanku

Terimalah aku
Seperti apa adanya
Aku hanya insan biasa
Ku pun tak sempurna

Tetap ku bangga
Atas apa yang ku punya
Setiap waktu ku nikmati
Anugerah hidup yang ku miliki


-EdCoustic

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Teruskan langkahmu

When you feel that there's no more chance for you, tell yourself...

Safeguard everyone!


Random pokok


Pix: kangkung penghias pagar. (Uni of Leicester)

Pix: pokok bunga bulat2 yg sgt cute (castle garden)

Monday, July 15, 2013

Tiga satu sembilan satu

Alhamdulillah. I think among things that i treasure most in UK are the gardens. Ptg2 cycling kat castle garden lah yg selalu jadi moment utk aku berrefleksi. Selalu tersenyum sorang2, and cakap "patutlah ayah suka gi mancing. Tenang rupanya duduk dekat tepi sungai dengan pokok-pokok merimbun". Rabbana ma khalaqta hadza batilan subhanaka faqina azaabannar. Ayat dalam surah ketiga ayat satu sembilan satu.

Ya. Ayat yang seharusnya terungkap di bibir orang yang berdiri mahupun duduk, lantas dia merenung langit dan bumi lalu dia yakin tiada satu pun tercipta sia-sia, lalu dia berdoa dijauhkan azab api neraka. 

Benar -tiada yang sia-sia. Pernah tak kamu tanya, mengapa agaknya kucing diciptakan, mengapa taman2 kat uk ni atau dimana saja diciptakan, kenapa perlu ada pelangi. Itu semua untuk kita. Ya manusia. 
Utk menghiburkan hati yang duka. 
Untuk menenangkan hati yang lara. Untuk mengingatkan hati yang lupa. Malah mungkin meriangkan hati yang tak rasa apa-apa.

Dan mengapa pula perlu berdoa dijauhkan dari azab api neraka? Kerna neraka itu penuh siksa kawan2. Dan kita juga tahu dalam neraka, mana mungkin ada keindahan alam yang masih mampu kita nikmati kini. Lantas, kita doa supaya satu hari di akhirat kelak, kita akan mampu nikmati lagi nikmat2 keindahan alam ini, malah lebih lagi. Malah, ketika makan pun, dalam doa makan kita mohon dijauhkan dari azab api neraka bukan. Tak pernah terfikir ke apa kaitannya makanan dengan neraka? Itu lah pentingnya refleksi. Dengan nikmat itu, seharusnya kita teringat tentang Dia. Dengan makanan itu, seharusnya kita berharap utk makanan yg lebih enak di syurga. Lalu kita doa agar dijauhkan dari azab api neraka. Kerana di neraka, nanah yang terjamu. Nauzubillah.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Sempurna

Assalamualaikum.

I dont have much time right now to really write a long post, mungkin sekadar ingin berkata:

Tahu tak, susunan Allah sangat sempurna.
Sangat Sempurna.


Okay, gotta go. Doakan diri ini.
p/s: Exam saya on 25th, 29th and 30th July :)

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

layar keinsafan

Kadang-kala, bait lagu seakan punya empati,
Kadang-kala, kata tersirat itu yang menyurat rasa,
Kadang kala, diam itu paling bermakna,

Aku tahu Dia ada.
Sentiasa Aku tahu Dia tahu.
Aku tahu Dia ada.

----------------------------------------------------

Sepi benar senja ini
Bayunya semilir, menganak ombak kecil
Jalur ufuk pula mengemas terang
Kapal dan layar terkapar

Mengapa nantikan senja
Barukan terdetik, pulang ke pengkalan
Gusar malam menghampiri
Ku tewas di lautan

Tuhan layarkanku ke arah cintaMu
Tuntuniku menggapai redhaMu
Rimbunan kasihMu ku berteduh
KepadaMu ya Tuhan
Berikan secebis keinsafan
Bekalan sepanjang perjalanan
Mencari ketenangan

Biar Kau menjadi saksi
Tulus tangisku kala dini hari
Kesempatan yang hanya sebentar
Moga keikhlasanku terlakar
Berikanlah ku hidayah
Agar dikuatkan iman yang lemah
Moga diberkati hidup ini
Menuju bahagia yang kekal abadi

PadaMu Tuhan
Kan kuserahkan cinta kepadaMu

Harapanku moga dikurniakan
Manisnya iman berpanjangan
Moga lautan hilang gelora


-Layar Keinsafan, Mestika

Sunday, July 7, 2013

The Beauty of Medicine

Assalamualaikum.

I'm doing my revision on Cardiovascular System at this moment. Things have become of so much fun these few days. It feels as if I have just been introduced to the course I have actually been studying for a year. haha. Oh nana.

True enough, medicine is interesting if you wish to appreciate the beauty of it. No, I don't wish to use the term Medicine lah, but Allah's design of human body. OMA, serious awesome giler. Just now, I was learning on the how our hearts developed during our fetal development. Taw x, the developments are very detailed and everything that happens has its own significance. Even the tiny tiny bit. Sah, mmg He never creates things aimlessless. Never!

And that's also suppose to mean, there is nothing in Medicine that we can conclude as "dry knowledge" which demands for sheer memorising. Sure enough, we need memorising but what's most importantly is understanding how things work, why do we need this and that, if certain things are missing, what will become out of it, etc. Nothing works as dry knowledge. There is always way of understanding things in Medicine. So remember, Medicine is not just about memorising!

And another thing is, when I learn on how wonderful the engineering of human body is, I can confidently tell how we definitely has a creator. And He's a Maha genius! He controls all people. In one person, He controls inside and outside. Talking about the "inside things" of a human body, He controls macro and micro things. Superb! Sila bersyukur! and Sila belajar medic ;p

Thursday, July 4, 2013

mencari diri sendiri

mahu jadi orang berguna itu saya kira impian ramai insan.
namun mana langkahnya,
mana petanya
mana pelannya.

merancang itu perlu.
lihat dengar amati
mana titik diri kamu.

bayangkan diri kamu berada di shopping complex yg mega,
lalu direktori engkau cari,
usai terjumpa,
apa kau cari
lambang "you are here" bukan?
kerna tanpa tahu titik diri kamu berada,
kamu tak mampu melangkah kemana-mana.
biarpun direktori itu hebat.

find your own position.
GPS mode on.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Mengalah

Belajar untuk mengalah
Jauh balah
Ku tak kalah

Manusia ni macam2 rupanya.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Lima lima puluh lima dan Dia yang pertama

Kalaulah tiap saat kita ingat
Kalaulah tiap masa kita rasa
Kalaulah tiap detik kita celik
Bahawa saat ini
Masa ini
Detik ini
Dikira dihitung
Dilihat diperhati
Didengar amati.

Tapi kita insan
Ingatan mudah terbang
Iman mudah layang

Justeru
Tatkala peringatan tidak datang
Kitalah yang perlu mencari.

Quran itu kata terus dariNya
Tak terharukah kamu
Membaca kata-kata Tuhanmu? 
Ya, Tuhanmu berbicara padamu.
Tak mahu kah kamu tahu
Allah sedang kata apa.

Surah kelima ayat lima puluh lima
Sudah Allah katakan penolongmu siapa
Carilah penolongmu
Yang pertama itu Dia
Dia yang Berkata
Dia yang Menjaga

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Dark chocolate fan

Moga selirat itu kan terlerai
Moga keruh jadi jernih
Moga gelap jadi cahaya

Kau dan aku ibarat picture puzzle
Kita disusun pada dataran ini
Penuh teka teki
Namun kita sama tahu
Kita wajar saling melengkapi

Berbeza itu nyata
Tapi menerima dan mengerti
Jadi penyatu jiwa- jiwa aneka warna

Maafkan aku sahabat
Terus terangnya aku rupanya
Berpagar hati sendiri
Lantas pancing curiga
Sangkut wasangka
Tanam derita
Maafkan aku.

Maafkan aku sahabat
Egoku memang tebal
Setebal kabus di puncak gunung
Tapi percayalah
Kabus itu mampu dibelah
Atau harapku 
Mampu hilang
Dek panas sinar siqqah 
Memang siqqah itu tali pengikat hati.




Friday, June 21, 2013

Saya ada masalah dengan..

Saya mmg ada masalah dengan
- orang yg ada rahsia pastu bgtaw dia ada rhsia. Cuba la rhsiakan yg awak ada rahsia. Eiiy

- orang yg tanya saya pasl apa yg sy kena buat pastu cakap kesian. Allah bg sy apa yg saya mampu. So yea, saya tak kesiankan diri saya, kenapa anda perlu?

- orang yang bila ditanya, tak berani nak cakap tak tahu bila tak tahu. 

Next time you wish to make a conversation, think. If you think of nothing good to speak of, silence is never a wrong thing.
Saya suka orang pendiam.
Kurang cakap benda sia2
Tak gitu?

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Apung

Seingatku semalam
Apung di atas air jernih itu
Air yang sifatnya 
Bukan keras
Bukan jua hilang persis udara
Apung itu
Bahagia

Namun kucukup tahu
Kalau air dibiar bertapa
Debu, serangga, habuk segala
Menanti waktu bersinggahsana
Masakan apung berteman 
Mampu jadi apung yang tenang
Risau juga
Kalau-kalau cemas membawa lemas.

Juga kucukup tahu
Kalau asyik mengapung diri
Asyik pula melayan rasa
Tubuhkan lelah
Lalu tenggelam membelah air.

Aku keliru.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Kami.We.Nahnu

I had always been interested in how different languages in the world developed. I remembered listening to my dad's claim. He said that during early times of the world, some groups of people are sengau and some are not. The sengau group migrated to other places and built up their own populations. and later on, due to the sengauness, from a single language, new language developed from the different way they pronounced the original vocabs. Haa. (IDK whether he was joking) Here is another theory to add in. Interesting!




Scientists have found that languages that use "ejective" consonants – rapid bursts of air exhaled while making a sound – tend to be spoken at higher altitudes.
Ejective consonants are not used in the English language, but may be easier to produce in thin mountain air, the researchers believe.
It is some of the first evidence for how geography can influence the sounds produced in a language.
Previously it was thought that the environment only shaped vocabulary by providing physical barriers between populations that led to different meanings being attached to words.
The researchers, however, found that 87 per cent of languages that use ejectives were found within 300 miles of an area of high altitude.
As the height of the land increased, so did the use of ejectives.Dr Caleb Everett, who led the study at the college of arts and sciences at the University of Miami, said: "This is really strong evidence that geography does influence phonology – the sound system of languages.
"I was really surprised when I looked at the data and saw that it correlated so well.
"Ejectives are produced by creating a pocket of air in the pharynx and then compressing it.
"Since air pressure decreases with altitude and it takes less effort to compress less dense air, I speculate that it's easier to produce these sounds at high altitude."
In the study, which is published in the journal PLOS ONE, Dr Everett examined 600 languages from around the world, 92 of which had ejectives.
He found that ejectives were used in languages spoken on, or near, five out of six major high altitude regions where people live.
Most of the inhabitable high altitude areas of the world are found in six regions: the Andes, the Andean altiplano, the North American Cordillera, the southern African Plateau, the east African rift plateau, the Ethiopian highlands, the Caucasus range, the Javakehit plateau and the Tibetan plateau.
The only region where ejective languages were absent was the Tibetan plateau. This could be because people living in the region have become uniquely adapted to the low oxygen at high altitudes.
Studies have shown that Tibetan people breath at a raster rate than other high altitude populations and they have also been found to make more efficient use of the oxygen in the air.
Dr Everett believes the findings may help to explain why such a diverse array of different sounds in languages have evolved around the world.
In some parts of the world, for example, whistled language is used and scientists have speculated this could be because whistles travel further in difficult terrain.
Dr Everett said: "The results of the study suggest that ecological factors may shape the structure of language in ways that have gone unrecognised."

Another interesting strategy of Allah in designing this world. Allahuakbar. 
“Dan di antara tanda-tanda yang membuktikan kekuasaan-Nya dan kebijaksanaan-Nya ialah kejadian langit dan bumi, dan perbezaan bahasa dan warna kulit kamu. Sesungguhnya yang demikian itu mengandungi keterangan-keterangan bagi orang yang berpengetahuan.” (Surah al-Rum, ayat 22) 

Subhanallah.
Exposing too much of ourselves,
Then, start freaking out about others' expectation and impression.
Irony.




Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Sifat qanaah

1. Jiwa berasa lapang dengan rezeki yang diberikan Allah SWT kepadanya dan hilang rasa tamak terhadap yang tidak tercapai. - Muhammad bin Tirmizi 
2. Berasa cukup dengan apa yang sudah dimilikinya yang telah memenuhi kepentingannya, sama ada berupa makanan, pakaian atau sebagainya. – Abu Zakaria Ansari 
3. Puas dengan apa yang dimiliki tetapi tetap berusaha gigih, serta mempunyai sifat luhur dan ‘afaf; iaitu enggan meminta-minta, berlaku sederhana dalam kehidupan dan berbelanja serta mencela (mengelak) meminta-minta tanpa keadaan darurat (keperluan mendesak) - Imam an-Nawawi. 
4. Dari Abu Muhammad iaitu Fadhalah bin Ubaid al-Anshari r.a. bahawasanya dia mendengar Rasulullah SAW bersabda: “Untung besarlah kehidupan seseorang yang telah dikurnia petunjuk untuk memasuki Agama Islam, sedang hidupnya itu adalah dalam keadaan cukup dan pula ia bersifat qana’ah.” (HR Tirmidzi) 
5. Rasulullah SAW bersabda: “Sungguh berjaya orang yang beragama Islam dan rezekinya cukup dan berasa cukup dengan segala yang diberikan oleh Allah kepadanya”. (HR Muslim)

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Sound too pretty

Some names coined for medical conditions sound too pretty. Could this be for psychological purpose? As in to make patients feel better. Hehs. 
Enough of living a self-centred life, girl.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Dia pengatur. satu.per.satu

interesting
i wrote about how fear led me to do things that i am capable of doing.
but as i think of it now.
i realize.
i didn't do much really.

what makes "forcing myself to do the things" dilute the fear?
just one answer.
biiznillah.
sebenarnya bukan sbb kau cabar diri kau nana.
sebab Allah izinkan fear yang tidak perlu itu untuk hilang.

Bahaya sungguh rasa diri berbakti.
padahal Allah yang hebat pengatur.
Diletaknya perasaan takut
kemudian, diletaknya perasaan hendak mencabar diri
Dijadikannya mampu berbuat sesuatu
Lantas dihapus perasaan takut yang ada pada awalnya.
Datang manusia,
Mengatakan sesuka hati
bahawa principlenya berbakti.
Manusia.
Tidak sedar diri.

Doakan diri ini.

F.E.A.R

Everyone has their own fear.

Be it speaking at the front. Be it becoming a leader. Be it losing a person we love. Be it failure. Be it expectation. Be it rejection. Be it anything.

How do we solve our fear?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
be prepared to be annoyed

THE TALE OF MY PRINCIPLE

I have this habit of mine.

Ever since I could remember.
When I have fear of something, I'll make myself to do it.

I was a shy kid back when I was in primary school
I don't have the guts to voice out opinion in class.
so what did I do?
I joined debate.
Ya, saya suka mencabar diri saya.
Fear of speaking in front of public?
I speak in front of public.
Fear of leading?
I lead.
Fear of confronting caucasian (can you believe that?)
So, I aim for english-speaking country when applying for uni. (OMA, salah gila niat dulu)
so, thats me. this's me.
I just hate fear so much, that I wish to end it as soon as I detected it.
The reason why I underlined the words above because we tend to underline the answer when in school dulu right?
and.
I always consider fear in my life as question. so whenever I have the question. I just copy the question and paste it in the answer column.
contoh:takut pegang cengkerik
jawapan: pegang cengkerik
so that's how I treat my life.

but all praise to Allah, this habit of mine has allowed me to experience many things.
not that I'm good in those things I've done though.

but.

can all fears be solved this way?
baiting myself for the thing I have fear for.
and hoping that i would find the underlying joy in them
which I have to admit,
has been working all this while.
will this work for the fear i am having at this moment?

I now realise something.
That principle of mine sure has its flaw.
I realise that this is not applicable to all.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One fear that I care to admit here is FAILURE.
Can my principle work to overcome this particular fear of mine?
Do I need to experience failure to overcome failure?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something to ponder upon.


We have fear of the Hell-fire that we don't wanna go in there.
we have the fear of becoming munafiq
we have the fear of being placed into torment anywhere,
we have fear of failing in exam
these fear..
does it mean that we have to challenge ourselves to experience those in order to overcome the fear?
mungkin macam cari pasal.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I can fairly conceptualise fear into two categories.
1. Fear that can be overcome by doing what we fear of doing
2. Fear that we overcome by doing our best to avoid.

But. Both don't need ignorance. Both needs intention. 

Fear is a feeling that Allah instills into our heart.
It's a natural feeling in all human being.
And all of us have different kind of fear.
And takda yg Allah ciptakan itu sia-sia, bukan?

What is the function of fear?
It limits us from doing what we fear of.

some of the fears are not needed.
but some may be the most valuable feeling ever granted to us.
Alhamdulillah.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

let P=penat

kadang-kala secool mana pun anda dilihat
seego mana pun anda dalam mengaku emosi
kadang kala terluah juga.
bila ia kian berbukit
sama ada anda P atau sedih atau marah.
anda kan manusia.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
duduk diam
pandang tembus dinding
tarik nafas
lepas nafas
sambil cakap
"Ya Allah, aku P"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

alhamdulillah.
P.
akhir semester selalu begini.
seakan beban belajar dan konflik dan suka duka sepanjang semester hampir mncapai saturation dalam kepala dan mungkin jiwa. oh nana, over saja.

terasa nak ber"analogy" pula.
mari kita bayangkan graph rate of rate of reaction against substrate concentration


kalau saya P, saya rasa graph seperti di atas selalu muncul dalam kepala.

dalam kepala asyik fikir dah sampai plateau dah ni, dah sampai plateau.
lantas, tidur. ataupun mula menconteng-conteng huruf diatas kertas atau bermain anak kucing atau mengarut buat lawak bodoh *plateau: garisan mendatar di hujung graph

but anyway, if we are being asked to interpret the above graph, the hypothesis may be as such:


the higher the concentration the substrate, the higher the rate of reaction until a maximum point.

why doesn't it go on increasing linearly?
because even if we keep increasing the concentration of substrate, the receptors of enzymes are fully occupied with substrate binding hence, the rate of reaction reaches its max.

setiap kali saya P, saya pikir, mungkin receptors saya dah fully occupied?

saya bukanlah mudah mengaku P. sebab i have this principle of mine: apa yg Allah bagi kat saya, itu memang kemampuan saya. and I'm proud to say of how glad I am that Allah blessed me with such principle because you have no idea how that helps me all the way to this point. bersangka baik dengan Allah. Tapi sejak sebulan lalu, saya terasa sangat P. i have been thinking about this. I guess reflection is worth of sharing. so here it is.

hidup ini memang satu perjuangan.
hidup ini normal kalau memenatkan.

"P"kan jadi pelajar? lagi-lagi waktu pereksa. pereksa susah. pastu pikir pulak expectation orang. macam mana kalau fail, parents mesti cakap aku tak belajar betul-betul, padahal.....emm.. nanti adik-adik tengok aku macam mana pulak, aku takut diorang tak faham. argh bad role model pula. "P"nyaaaa... pastu dah habis pereksa, next sem ada pereksa lagi, P nya.... lama pulak tu baru nak graduate, nanti dah grad, dah tua dah nak kahwin (eH? >< i mean i've heard people worrying about this) and the TO-WORRY LIST goes on and on.

saya tahu P menjadi pelajar. the tiredness. due to expectation and fear of failing. tapi penah tak anda terfikir kalau-kalau ada sesuatu untuk dibetulkan di situ?

PENAT. Let P=penat
ya, saya P. dan mungkin juga anda P. P dengan keadaan masing-masing
tapi.

mari kita rehat sejenak dan berfikir,
lupakan kita ada masalah
lupakan kita tengah P.

jom kita bayangkan ke"P"an orang.

percayalah kalau kita P sebagai pelajar,

percayalah guru-guru juga P mengajar, P menghadapi karenah pelajar, karenah sekolah, dan bila balik rumah perlu fikirkan anak-anak pula, (bayangkan wajah guru-guru anda)

ibu bapa juga P bekerja dan memikirkan hal kita anak-anak, perangai kita, okay kah anak-anakku, ada masalah ke mereka? apa yang terbaik untuk anak-anak aku? itu belum lagi fikir pasal keadaan di tempat kerja, bil air elektrik, masalah balik kampung mana waktu raya (eh?), harga minyak dan sebagainya.

pengemis P mencari sesuap makanan dan mengharapkan simpati, saya selalu tak dapat nak bayangkan macam mana homeless kat negara macam UK ni hidup? sejuk dingin malam. aku heater rosak pon dah rasa sejuk, padahal dok dalam rumah. memang lah ada homeless shelter. but they live in uncertainty, they need to endure gazes and hunger and cold. some are really old. and have you ever thought of how P they feel?

kanak-kanak P menyiapkan kerja sekolah. ada yang sekolah dua sesi. balik sekolah, pergi tusyen. sekolah pulak kena bawak buku teks berat-berat. tunggu bas, kena pakai baju sekolah, kena basuh kasut sekolah, kapur kasut lagi (dulu kalau malas basuh kasut saya kapur je. haha). P kot?

doktor P on-call for long hours, but still need to hide their exhaustion in front of patients, maintain wajah professional, maintain otak dan concentration sbb tgh deal ngan health being patient. kalau buat silap, patient jadi mangsa. ingat tak P?

bagi tahulah siapa yang tidak P di dunia ini?
penganggur?
oh mereka juga P. mungkin P mencari kerja? atau setidak-tidaknya P mendengar bebelan.

hakikatnya,
semua orang P kawan-kawan
semua orang.
dengan tangungjawab masing-masing,
dengan masalah masing-masing.
"oh, so aku tak leh nak mengaku P ke?"

boleh..bukan tak boleh.. (nada seorang yang tenang)

ketika awak P.
awak tarik nafas dalam..
awak fikirkan si Dia.
si Dia yang telah mengaturkan segalanya
Dia tengah tengok awak.
tarik nafas,
lepas nafas,
lepaskan ego itu bersama nafas yang terhembus
mengakulah, Dia tengah tunggu ..
mengakulah,
"Ya Allah, aku mengaku aku P"
"Aku perlukan Kau, Ya Allah"
"Aku tak mampu dengan kudratku"
"Bantulah aku"
Hakikatnya, kita selalu terlupa untuk mengaku.

berdialog lah dengan Allah.
Bacalah kata-kata jawapan Allah melalui ayat quran nya.
"Surely, in the remembrance of Allah hearts find rest"
(13:28)

Dan tiap kali P,
ambil lah masa untuk rehat dan berefleksi,
mungkin masa P itu Allah saja je berikan untuk kita berehat dan bermuhasabah diri,
usaha P lelah aku tu untuk siapa?
kalau untuk manusia, memang selama-lamanya expectation manusia akan menakutkan aku,
kalau untuk self-satisfaction, memang failure lah akan jadi my biggest fear.
cuba lah, walaupun susah. untuk berniatkan kerana Allah.
Kalau susah, mengaku lah jugak
"Ya Allah, aku nak niatkan kerana Kau,
tapi aku tak tahu macam mana.
Kau tunjukkanlah cara"
Pray and Believe He's Listening.
And try.

ingatlah doa doesn't need perfect grammar. I guess what it needs is breached ego.
itu baru Cool!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

by the way, today i went to Akhlaq class and Allah as usual buat diri ini terharu lagi.
Alhamdulillah.
tepat dengan keadaan saya yang terasa lemah dan "saturated" ini.
Allah hantarkan jawapan through guru akhlak saya.

Dahulu Fatimah, puteri Rasulullah s.a.w pernah berasa sangat P.
P berbuat pelbagai kerja dan menguruskan rumah tangga sehinggan dia terasa sangat P dan lemah sampai dia terfikir untuk meminta bapanya menghadiahkan hamba untuk membantunya.
Instead, ini yang diajarkan Rasulullah:

Ketahuilah akan aku ajarkan sesuatu yang lebih baik daripada sesuatu yang engkau minta daripadaku. Apabila engkau hendak tidur, maka bertasbihlah sebanyak 33 kali, bertahmidlah sebanyak 33 kali, dan bertakbirlah 33 kali. maka itu lebih baik daripada seorang pembantu rumah.


Insya Allah, kita baliklah kepada Allah kerana itu lah pencipta kita. kekuatan luaran? dalaman? intelek? semuanya dari Dia. Doakan diri ini kuat. Doakan juga diri ini dan rakan-rakan seangkatan lulus periksa.

Doakan diri ini mengesakan Dia Yang Satu. Allah.

Take home message:
Hidup ini satu perjuangan. Kuat kita bukan kerana personal principle kita. Kuat kita kerana Allah. Kerana izin Dia. 

C'est la vie.


oh delete perkataan P itu dari otak awak. scroll down











Allah. tenang. rehat. doa. harapan. tenaga. positive. mampu. saya. mereka. Allah. senyum. 

Saturday, June 1, 2013

saya teringin nak pergi..

random malam ni.
saya rasa teringin nak pergi tempat macam ini.
pergi sorang-sorang
atau dengan orang yang tak banyak cakap


saya mahu pergi ke satu tempat yang punya air terjun yang sangat tinggi...
sangat tinggi? ya.
bukan air terjun satu sahaja
tapi ada air terjun sana 
air terjun sini
semuanya tinggi di puncak
semuanya lebar lebar
tinggi sampai tak nampak dasar destinasi luncur airnya
luncur airnya meniupkan kabus titisan air
saya mahu tempat itu tinggi
pemandangan terhampar
langit luas terbentang
biru cair.
sky blue.
can you imagine?
mungkin beberapa air terjun besar yang turun dari sebuah banjaran panjang
alam nan luas
bunyian deruan air.
bunyi yang kuat
sampai saya tak teringin pun nak keluarkan suara
sebab memang takkan dengar
suasana yang buat rasa taknak buat apa-apa
nak tengok
dan senyum
dengan yakin
tahu
ini hanya Kau sahaja yang mampu cipta
tak ada masalah keliru
mahupun terlupa.
jelas.

waa. goggle punya google, saya rasa saya nak gi Niagara Falls. satu hari nanti. insya Allah



Wednesday, May 29, 2013

To usratis (plural ahah)



And i mean that. Literally. And metaphorically.



reflect.reflexology.reflex.

Assalamualaikum
Selamat pagi!
Good morning!
Sobahul Khayr!

Yesterday, I stumbled upon an analogy about life in tumblr. Quite interesting.
Katanya(rephrased and edited version ;p suka hati ko sajor, nana).

Hidup ini ibarat berjalan diatas batu refleksologi.










Ada batu besar.
Ada batu kecil..
Ada yang menyakitkan.
Ada yang kurang menyakitkan.
Kadang kita rasa sakit.
Namun kita terus berjalan.
Kerana meneruskan langkah itulah
yang menghilangkan kesakitan.
Terus dan terus.
Lagi pula,
Batu yang menyakitkan itu,
Bukankah punya manfaat?
Manfaat yang menguatkan.

ayuh, reflect reflexology. and hopefully produce some reflex.

p/s: teringat zaman dahulu pernah berexcited plan nak buat taman reklexology kat rumah. ohoi.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Kita atau mereka.

Kadang kala kita rasa mereka tak memahami
Namun kita lupa untuk memahami
bahawa mereka insan
penuh kelemahan.

Kadang kala kita rasa kita mangsa buruk sangka
Tanpa kita sedar, kita lah yang berprasangka
bahawa mereka punya buruk sangka.


Monday, May 27, 2013

Kepada anak kecil main api


Smile

Smiling isn’t just about putting a semi colon and a closing bracket. I hope you do mean the smiley, my friend.

I really hope you are fine

Sunday, May 26, 2013

another chance

wake up. breathe in. some didn't get this chance. close your eyes .tell yourself it's another chance .another chance

Friday, May 24, 2013

mengapa aku diuji dengan berdosa.

Makin lama hidup,
Makin saya nampak hidup ini
Pattern Hidup ini.

Hidup ini...
Boleh jadi roda kamu tahu?
Hidup ini,
Kalau kamu di atas,
Dan kamu pandang di bawah,
Lalu kamu tanya,
"Kenapalah anda pilih untuk berada kat bawah?"
Tup tup,
Tanpa kamu sedar kamu boleh bertukar tempat.

Hidup ini, tatkala kamu rasa iman kamu cukup hebat
Dan tujuan hidup mu solid,
Kau akan lihat ramai orang di sekelilingmu yang berbeza.
Kadang kau pelik,
Pilihan terbaik di depan mata
Mengapa tidak disambar?
Perbuatan jelas merugikan,
Mengapa tidak ditinggal jauh?
Perbuatan melanggar fitrah,
Eww. Mengapa tergamak mencuba?

Tapi.
Anda mungkin silap.
Anda tak tahu.
Betapa gelora di jiwa mereka mungkin mengalahkan gelora mujahadahmu,
Mungkin di sudut hatimu berpuas hati
Mungkin di sudut hati mereka mencari-cari
Mungkin di tiap harimu, bertatah benih ukhuwah
mungkin di tiap hari mereka, orang-orang tarbiyah itu tak wujud,
In which,
Kalau kamu berada di tempat mereka,
Mungkin kamu bukan setakat di bawah roda,
Mungkin di bawah tanah.

Pesanan buat yang terasa bertuah,
Bukan hakmu untuk menilai,
Bukan hakmu untuk mencemuh,
sedarlah,
Kau cuma bertuah,
dan hati-hati juga.
Tuah itu mungkin ujian terbesarmu.
Usah mencemuh mereka.
Bantulah mereka.
Mungkin, kita tak tahu
Mungkin sahaja darjat mereka lebih tinggi di sisi Allah
Mujahadah mereka mungkin lebih dahsyat.
Standard manusia itu berbeza daripada standard yg Allah setkan.

Buat yang terasa dibawah,
Banyak yang perlu dikau lakukan
Kadang kau rasa memang kau lah yang hina.
kadang kau rasa lemah.
Malah kadang soalan menjelma,
Mengapa aku diuji dengan berdosa.
orang diuji dengan miskin. boleh tahan dengan bersabar
orang diuji dengan kaya. boleh bersyukur
orang yang diuji dengan dosa?
orang yang diuji dengan ego?
orang yang diuji dengan nafsu?
orang yang diuji dengan fikiran yang asyik bertanya?
orang yang sentiasa inginkan bukti?
kadang kau lemah,
kau fikir,
kenapa aku.
kenapa ujian ini.

kuatlah wahai diri,
taubat itu peluang mu.
tiap kali engkau bernafas,
nafas itu mengeja peluang dariNya,
mungkin sahaja Allah ingin engkau melepasi ujian ini
supaya darjat mu diangkat setinggi mungkin
mungkin sahaja supaya satu hari nanti
ada jiwa yang boleh kau bantu
jiwa yang mana..orang lain tak dapat selami
tapi engkau mampu. kerna dulu itu kamu.
tiada yang sia-sia dalam hidup ini.
tiap orang berbeza.
tiap orang ada tempatnya di sisi Allah.

p/s: bersangka baiklah dengan Allah.




Thursday, May 23, 2013

Eyeing.

Here I am.
Sitting in the library.
Eyes half-closed
wait, positive sikit!
rephrase:
Eye half-opened.

Person on my right scribbling on business and mgt concept.
Sometimes, I could hear his whispering,
trying to memorise concepts i guess,
oh shush, this reminds me of BMS in KMB.

Person on my left just left his table.
Table empty now,
waiting for another lad to step in.

Person at the opposite table is drinking coke with a headphone on.
He seems to have a calculator among the piles of paper on the table.
Quick, have a guess.
What student is he?

Person next to him chewing something.
Once in a while, people move pass him,
Some greeted him,
He sounded like a pleasant person,
Okay, not that i can conclude on him based on the mere sound i heard,
It's library anyway. Not much sound.

This first floor of this library houses diff kind of people,
Everyone with everyone's business,
Each one with each one's problem.
Yea, I have this habit of admiring how every individual is different.
Just as how I have the habit of watching car drivers on the road, and says,
Fret not, Nana. You are not the only one having problem,
They are all heading to somewhere,
Trying to solve their own unique issues.

Here on my lappy,
M&R slides ready to be read,
Here on my handphone,
Battery ready to turn zero,
Here on my head,
Thinking about a friend in need.

Here on my eyes,....

Eh, yeay. dah tak ngantuk
Okay, sambung baca Membrane and Receptor (M&R)
weewoo


Saturday, May 18, 2013

Spideweb

Two days ago, i was cycling around the castle garden and was later stopping by to watch the swans and the people canoeing. and there you go. for the second time of the week:Tarbiyah spider lg.


The example of those who take allies other than Allah is like that of the spider who takes a home. And indeed, the weakest of homes is the home of the spider, if they only knew.
(29:41)

Mungkinkah
ada langkah tersalah hati?
ada kata tersasar erti?
ada mahu tersilap demi?
Time to reflect and evaluate.
Photo: castle garden, leicester

Friday, May 17, 2013

Spideruler

Tgk! Hari ni Allah letak labah2 kat atas meja time groupwork. The spider then climbed up my ruler. (That orange ruler held by my groupmate) Could it be that Allah wanna teach me something out of surah al-ankabut today? Nana, ade ambil perlindungan org lain ke? T T (29:41)


Thursday, May 16, 2013

i.m.p.r.o.m.p.t.u


Ku tahu ini tugasku,
Ku tahu. It's more that obvious.
Kerna tak mungkin ini satu kebetulan.

Di saat diri ini terasa rapuh,
Kau hantar jiwa insan untuk kubantu teguh.
Di saat soalan masih bertalu,
Kau susun untuk ku bantu si ragu.

Andai benar aku titian itu,
Kau teguhkan lah dengan kayu belian,
Ikatlah aku dengan tali itu,
Tali yang kau janjikan takkan putus,
kerna setahu aku,
aku masih rapuh.
aku buntu.
aku risau.
risau niat salah
risau kata berbalah
risau langkahku patah.

bantulah sahabatku itu.
bantu aku.


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Cause it isn't mere roof

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Semalam waktu jalan balik from uni ke arah basikal, cakap kat diri sendiri, full time aku kat uni hari ni. Lepas lecture, library, lepas tu CVS examination, lepas tu lecture MMF, CVS examination lg. Tapi best. Dapat belajar and practise CVS examination sampai faham. Sekarang tinggal berlatih sampai boleh buat laju-laju. Haiyakkk! True enough, i realize that not understanding something tends making me not favouring something at times. So, kena banyak usaha bagi faham okay, nana? *excited tetiba

Hari pun dah senja. Perut minta makanan. Otak pun dah blank. Emm. Tapi, bila tengok langit time tu, waaa.. Subhanallah. Mcm dipujuk pun ada.

Luas langit terbentang. Bayangkan diri melihat dari atas, zoom out dan zoom out. Bayangkan diri merenung dari luar bima sakti. Manusia ni kecil je. Kamu kecil nana. Masalah kamu kecil, tahu? Lelah kamu kecil. Dan pandanglah langit untuk mengingatkan kamu bahawa kamu punya Allah yang MAHA BESAR

nota kaki untuk seorang yang amat saya segani:
Andai tiba saat kau rasakan engkau monyet belajar berenang, burung belajar memanjat, atau singa belajar melukis (eh), katakan.. rabbana ma khalaqta hadza batilan subhanaka fakina azabannar (refer 3:191). Tiada yang berlaku itu sia-sia. Regret not, but reflect. :)

bayangkan dirimu menjadi berudu menunggu masa menjadi katak yang bisa melompat kesana kemari meneroka dua alam. Bayangkan diri mu menjadi ulat dalam kepompong menunggu masa untuk terbang merembas indah sayap dan benih bunga. Hakikatnya,  percayalah, Allah sentiasa nak yang terbaik untuk kamu! dan saya percaya ramai yang mendoakan kejayaan anda.. Let's keep our fingers crossed okay?

Nana, Leics






Sunday, May 12, 2013

Math port dan ithar

bismillahirrahim and assalamualaikum.

Exam coming soon! (pengsan 5 seconds) May everyone in the batch (especially malaysians ;p ) got Excellent for this exam. Do pray for us. 

Anyway, I always think that being a student allows me to learn a lot of things. I mean not just literally about the course or subjects that we take. But many others. About life, relationship etc 

Let us ponder on the moments when we are given course work to be completed and imagine that the due date is drawing near. If you are a student, you may be able to relate yourself to this. 

This is what i can recall from my reflection with my usrahmates in our usrah conducted post math portfolio fever err two years ago? perggh time flies indeed. 

[credit]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
flashback to KMB..tettkriikkkrokkk (time machine berkarat)

It was Math portfolio season. and everyone is busy with their own portfolios. 
Dalam sibuk-sibuk, ada yang lebih mahir berkomputer dan ber"maths" hence lebih independent gituh. 
Ada yang perlu banyak bertanya hence terpaksa bergantung pada org lain. 

Ada yang tersilap buat and terpaksa buat lagi. 
Tidak kurang juga yang "sonang je math port. no prob" (okay, xde pun yang keluarkan dialog ni. kalau ada, mmg kena sekeh), 

but we can fairly see that the challenges faced by everyone are different from one another. Even.with.the.same.task.given. 

Hence, we.learn.differet.things.

dalam keadaan tense macam ni, yang tak berapa mahir, walaupun segan untuk menyusahkan kawan, terpaksa juga untuk bertanya. 
and this is a real test for whom being asked help from. Dan tak dapat dinafikan, ramai di KMB yang berhati suci murni yang sudi membantu kawan. But as the due date datang real close, as in, the very next morning, haaaaa, kalau orang datang meminta tolong, jeng jeng, perasaan terganggu itu mula datang. (bayangkan syaitonirrojim datang membisik-bisik)

Hakikatnya, ada antara kita yang sudi membantu selagi mana itu tak mengganggu urusan kita. something to reflect on. sejauh mana kita ini mementingkan our sisters and brothers more than our own selves. membantu orang waktu kita lapang mungkin tidak sesusah mana. waktu kita ada urusan lain?

Teringat kata-kata Imam Hassan Al-Banna
Serendah-rendah ukhuwah adalah berlapang dada dan setinggi-tinggi ukhuwah adalah ithar/isar (mengutamakan orang lain)

there you go. mengutamakan orang lain. apa maksudnya?
Allah ada berfirman (translation)
"Patutkah manusia menyangka bahawa mereka akan dibiarkan dengan hanya berkata: "Kami beriman", sedang mereka tidak diuji (dengan sesuatu cubaan)?Dan demi sesungguhnya! Kami telah menguji orang-orang yang terdahulu daripada mereka, maka (dengan ujian yang demikian), nyata apa yang diketahui Allah tentang orang-orang yang sebenar-benarnya beriman, dan nyata pula apa yang diketahuiNya tentang orang-orang yang berdusta." (Surah Al-Ankabut: 3-4) 

Bila mana ujian kesibukan dan rakan datang meminta bantuan itulah, itsar itu teruji. 

Kalau kita pongpangpongpang menghebahkan apa itu ukhuwah kesana kemari, tapi bila ada sahabat meminta bantu, kita tidak memberikan sedikit consideration sikit pun untuk berusaha membantu dan terus dengan tidak bersalah memberi tahu bahawa kita ada hal lain, maaf, kita belum cukup itsar.

waaa.. ini susah nak buat kan sebenarnya. tapi setiap kali saya ada conflict ni, saya suka mengingatkan diri saya dengan hadith 36 yang dikumpul Imam Nawawi:
Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a. daripada Nabi SAW, Baginda telah bersabda:
Barangsiapa yang melepaskan seorang mukmin daripada satu kesusahan daripada kesusahan-kesusahan dunia, nescaya Allah akan melepaskannya daripada satu kesusahan daripada kesusahan-kesusahan Qiamat. Barangsiapa yang mempermudahkan bagi orang susah, nescaya Allah akan mempermudahkan baginya di dunia dan di akhirat. Barangsiapa yang menutup ke’aiban seorang muslim, nescaya Allah akan menutup ke’aibannya di dunia dan akhirat. Allah sentiasa bersedia menolong hambaNya selagi mana dia suka menolong saudaranya. Barangsiapa yang melalui suatu jalan untuk menuntut ilmu, nescaya Allah akan mempermudahkan baginya suatu jalan menuju ke syurga. Sesuatu kaum tidak berkumpul di salah sebuah rumah-rumah Allah (iaitu masjid) sambil mereka membaca Kitab Allah dan mengkajinya sesama mereka melainkan suasana ketenangan akan turun ke atas mereka, rahmat akan melitupi mereka dan mereka akan di kelilingi oleh para malaikat dan Allah akan menyebut (perihal) mereka kepada orang-orang yang berada di sisiNya. Barangsiapa yang terlambat amalannya, nescaya nasab keturunannya tidak mampu mempercepatkannya. (HR imam muslim)

hakikatnya, saya kadang-kadang agak kecewa dengan insan tertentu dan juga diri sendiri, yang kadang-kadang, menganggap ukhuwah itu sekadar bermanis kata, msg sweet2. Tapi mengikut pemerhatian saya, mementingkan org lain itu lebih melambangkan kemanisan dan kebenaran nilai ukhuwah itu sendiri. In fact, berlapang dada yang dikatakan serendah-rendah ukhuwah itu juga ramai yang tersadung termasuk diri ini. 

percayalah, percayalah, kalau kamu bantu orang. Allah akan bantu kamu. 

dan dan dan buat yang meminta tolong, anda juga kena la ada bersifat ithar juga. fikirkan juga kebajikan rakan anda. hakikatnya, be considerate. both of entities.

emm. banyak lagi benda lain boleh reflect daripada math port ni (ttiba aku cakap pasal math port malam ni. asal ek? lols sangat.) tapi dah tak dapat tulis banyak2 sebab esok ada revision session ngan kakak senior untuk anatomy. wee. kena baca buku. doakan diri ni jadi lebih baik dari semalam. and jadi even better tomorrow. May Allah bless you and I.