Berkahwin tanpa couple.

Minggu ni, ada beberapa orang kawan bagitahu saya yang depa mahu kahwin tanpa ada hubungan yang haram sebelum kahwin and mereka tanya saya apa caranya untuk berkahwin tanpa bercinta.  (Terharu pula orang bagitau saya lol)

My first reaction in mind was 
"Bagusnya alhamdulillah tapiiii, ceq mana tau nak advise benda camni!! Waa". What should I be suggesting? 

Firstly happy and bersyukur alhamdulillah makin ramai yang yakin bahawa baraqah Allah itu datang dengan adanya taqwa sepanjang berikhtiar. Dah ramai orang yang tahu yang tak impossible untuk bercinta lepas kahwin atau kahwin tanpa couple. Awesome!

Anyway, kalau rasa impossible, Muhammad Ali the boxer kata "Impossible is a dare!'. Okay macam agak random di situ.

Secondly, minta maaf saya kurang arif pasal topic ni so, dah tanya a few people pasal Baitul Muslim, tips etc. Insya Allah akan update once dah tahu. Maybe alot of people out there are asking the same question kan?

Kalau ada advice untuk yang bertanya, boleh lah bagitau! Nanti saya tambah je kat bawah ni ha and share ngan depa.

Below are some of the responses I have received. Thanks!
Saya cuba share advice yang sesuai dengan orang umum iA. Bagi yang ikut prog tarbiyah, boleh tanya naqib naqibah.

Apa-apa pun tahniah and alhamdulillah atas niat anda untuk jaga ikhtilat. May Allah keep that intention and adab in you till the end. Kita tak tahu siapa or bila jodoh kita akan sampai, in fact kita tak tahu kalau kita sempat kahwin sebelum mati, tapi yakinlah Allah is Most Appreciative towards usaha awak untuk jaga iman. Tapi kena ingat, kahwin itu satu sunnah dan Islam suruh kita usaha juga. Ada cara yang Islam gariskan. Yang penting, stick to your principles! Redha Allah yang kita mahukan. 


1) From a sister who's getting married

I guess ni kalau dah ada calon.

In conclusion: tak salah pun communicate kan? Tapi better communicate dengan ada orang lain dalam group and banyakkan doa.

2) Suggestion from a lovely sister

baitulmuslim.com

Great medium, I think.

3. Great advice from a wise sis



4. A good doa in Quran

4. A reminder from a sister 

"We should think about what we has equipped ourselves with. Baitul muslim is a big step. Kahwin bukan pasal untuk suka-suka or sweet-sweet semata-mata. Kahwin is continuation of zuriat, i.e Muslim generation"

She's right, people.

While many think kahwin is a happy ending, people forgot that it's, too, a beginning.

Justifications

I think, somehow, if we seek to understand others, to listen to people's reasonings, to learn people's upbringings and environment which explain his/her behaviours, we may be able to accept and forgive everyone. Even the cruelest criminals on Earth.

That's when it comes to understand others' actions.
What about our own actions?
Can we hope others to understand us and accept the things we do?

Despite my observation on how most people actually have sound justification for their actions,
surely despite legit justifications, some actions are just immoral.
Our actions may downplay others' rights.
Our actions may still be wrong because it is downright wrong as outlined by the Religion or any code of moral conduct held by a person.

For instance, a man sexually harrassed his colleagues at work. It is later found out that he has been sexually assaulted when he was a kid. Although we can justify what makes him act as he acted, that doesn't change the nature of his action. It is wrong wrong and wrong. However, how he will be punished and managed or how people look at him later (marah? Kasihan?) may be affected.

Haya'

Malunya engkau dalam berlebih-lebihan dengan si lain jantina dalam keramaian itu bukti haya'.
Dan haya' itu sebahagian daripada harum imanmu.

Tapi andai rasa itu hilang tatkala hanya ada kau dan dia, fikirkan kembali apa asbab malumu.
Ada apa pada ramai sampai membeda takwa.

-------------------------------------------------------
Teringat satu insiden di satu program talk di Uni.
Seorang adik perempuan kecil menjerit-jerit bermain, si ibu terus memandang sambil meletak jari telunjuk di bibir dan berkata "haya'"
Usai majlis, si anak berlari-lari pula di dalam dewan,
Si ibu melarang lagi dengan berkata "haya' "

Kecil-kecil lagi dah diajar dengan haya'
Moga haya' itu menjadi celupan peribadimu adik.
Dan aku jua.

RESEPI NENNIE KHUZAIFAH: Masak lemak putih kobis

RESEPI NENNIE KHUZAIFAH: Masak lemak putih kobis:


Share kat sini supaya senang nak revisit

Interest: My 20 List

I am currently in the habit of watching one Leo Gura's motivational/ psychological video each day. This guy reads alot, hence it's a no wonder that his insights, knowledge and the way how he words his advices are admirable. Dia tak de lah nampak like a wise father, or professor ke apa. Dia muda and kadang-kadang agak sengal. Tapi takde lawak kurang pandai, don't worry. But yea, I personally feel that his words got the punch. I watched his videos on You tube. But you can visit his webpage directly: actualized.org.

Leo Gura [Kredit]

Anyway. in the second latest video I watched, Leo challenged us to list down 20 fields or subjects that we are genuinely interested in. Read or explore all these with genuine fascination and inquiry. Bila kita sedar kta minat, barulah bila baca or explore tu, hati berbunga-bunga, mulut terlopong kekaguman, and minda busy membayangkan (instead of terbang melayang). o yes.

So, ini lah list 20 daku. Not in particular order though. Waktu tulis ni, aku tulis dengan penuh imaginasi dan kejujuran. Cewah.

1. Medicine
2.     Psychoanalysis
3.     Investment
4.     Ethnicity and sociology
5.     Music and power
6.  Interior Design
7.     Human relationship
8.     Botany
9.     Animal studies
10. Religion and evolution of belief system
11. Cooking and combination of ingredients
12. Human personality
13. Arabic language
14. Farming
15. Languages with Non-Roman alphabets
16. Business
17. Software designing
18. Fashion
19. Journalism
20. Literature


Not sure why, but listing these makes me excited. Teehee!
I had just asked some of my close friends on their lists. They're just so amazing. 

Sweet and peaceful Miss D's
1. Cats
2.   Philosophy
3.   Clouds
4.   Brain
5.   Thoughts
6.    Heart
7.    Nature
8.    Water
9.    Blue
10.  Light
11.  Winter
12. Snow
13.  Strings, Cello, Harp
14.  Astronomy
15.  Robotic
16.  Human behaviour
17.  Lifeline
18.  Surgery
19.  Poetry
20.  Honesty

My Empathetic, forever unique friend, Miss N's

Miss NM's, my wise great thinker friend
(She couldn't list down 20 but I can assure you that she really thrives on what she favours :) )
1. History
2. Malay literature
3. Philosophy
4. Quran Exegesis
5. Sufism and metaphysics
6. Geopolitics


Why not try make your own 20 list. And ask your friends too! Discover your own special interests. They are waiting to be recognised.

Adulthood

So this is adulthood.

When I need to do or to be such and such to "a certain extent".

And that "extent" is so uncertain.

So this is adulthood.

When the line between this and that gets finer and finer.

Line I can hardly see nor feel.

Between being confident and being cocky,

Between being positive and being in denial,

Between being careful and being too picky.

So this is adulthood,

When black and white aren't that realistic,

And greyscale being the standard of the reality.

So this is adulthood.

When one can get lost so easily.

Ends up clueless and in despair.

Regardless,

there IS such thing as a potentially good adulthood,

one we can hopefully one day reminisce on and smile at.

one where we can be more certain of what the "extent" is,

one where we see the fine line more clearly,

one where we can hopefully choose the best tone of grey.

***************************************

That potentially good adulthood is one which can only be crafted with guidance from your Maker, and that guidance should be sought NOT in a one-off reading or one-off doa or whatever effort that is. 

"One-off" rule just doesn't apply. 

It needs continuous effort till we die.

and we need good environment.
Regardless of how strong we are,
Regardless of how we confided in ourselves to just mix and not blend,
We are sponges which absorb.
Our surroundings is where we immerse in.
And that becomes our nature.
And that shapes how we identify ourselves.
Whether we realize it or not.