wahai jari jemari

tangan tak lengkap tanpa si ibu,
si penunjuk,
si jari tengah walau digelar hantu,
si pemegang cincin
dan si manis.
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10 orang dengan 10 hujah.
bukan hujah biasa.
bukan hujah permukaan.
hujah berpanah.
orang keliru makin keliru.
itupun kalau mahu ambil tahu.
kalau mahu.

nah!
sudah termahu ambil tahu.
dan sudah keliru.
gimana dong.

kadang terfikir.
Hujah diberi pada sang keliru cukup kuat.
Cuba disatukan para penghujah pada pentas itu.
Lihat siapa hebat.

Bukanlah ingin jadi pemerhati,
Jauh sekali ingin melagakan hati-hati. 
Cuma impian jauh di lubuk hati,
ingin lihat bukan pelagaan,
tapi penyatuan.

kita duduk di baris yang sama.
cuma ada kelompok.
|||| |||| ||||
bertompok-tompok.

mungkin kah tompok-tompok putih di kertas hitam?
atau tompok-tompok menghitam di kertas kelabu.
silakan silakan
teruskan perasan tentang warna anda.

kalaupun kerusi tak mampu rapat,
ingat lah selalu, bukankah baris itu sama.

ini saja rasa si keliru.
ingin pegang pada niat asal.
sebab akhir nanti,
10 kamu takkan mampu bantu satu keliru.

jangan biarkan orang lain buat kamu keliru pada benda yang tak perlu.
lihat atas minta petunjuk Dia.
lihat quran Dia ada berkata.
Ar-Rum tiga puluh dua.


 aku kira ada garisan halus antara himmah dan kelampauan.

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wahai jari-jari,
sungguhpun beza tinggi,
beza saiz,
tapi kamu lengkap-melengkapi,
kamu-kamu.
setiap dari kamu.
membentuk kepal yang padu,
lalu kepal itu aku julang menyahut takbir yang akbar.

anaks

stress dengan orang yang mampu marah anak dia yang kecil, sampai anak tu menangis-nangis sepanjang jalan lepas tu sambung tengking sampai suara lagi kuat dari raung tangis si anak. lepas tarik anak jalan laju-laju sampai anak tu mcm nak tersungkur pun ada. waduh. sabar ye dik.

Making someone's day.

2 things (among myriad of others) you can do to make someone's day (even a random person you passed when walking to school!): 

1. giving a smile

    - tapi kalau orang tu tak balas, jangan stress pula!

    - even better, give a nod with a greeting :D

2. contact those you're missing for
   - they could be missing you as well but ain't got time to give a whatsapp ;p

home.

I want HOME.

longlai.

menanti hari demi melihat hari pergi
mengejar puncak sungguh tahu kan jatuh kembali
mungkin juga kejar puncak tak cukup tinggi.

gembira.bahagia.
amal. dosa
absolute atau relative?

mahkamah itu berbisik,
menilai longlai,
mungkin gusar takdir sempit menyingsing.
atau mungkin gusar taksir hadirin asing?

Giving the right gift to the right people.

I have had the chance to take part in a few volunteering/ humanitarian projects and I know how these projects normally need us to look for sponsor or raise funds. And this takes a lot of time and effort, not forgetting lots of people,  depending on the scale of projects we involve in.

From what I see, from what I read, much efforts are given to plan on how to raise fund, and how to do activities, but not on what the target group really needs to be helped on. So, sometimes, aids are given on trivial and unnecessary things.

It's easy to lose track on what your intentions are, especially if you are working in an already established organisation.
Sometimes, we tend to do things according to what have been done in previous years (ikut tradition).
Sometimes, we tend to do things just for the sake of spending the funds we got.
Sometimes, we tend to do things to fill up the 5-day activities schedule we had allocated for.
Sometimes, we do things that look great (or fun for us, the members) when in fact,  that is not fundamentally needed by the target group.

I just think that people need to give attention to carry out objective-based project, rather than activity-based or tradition-based project. It's time to educate the people particularly youth to organise things correctly, not just technical-wise but also objective and intention-wise. Scrutinise and find out on what the target group really needs. This may be tangible (like daily essentials such as food) or intangible (such as education). This might be helping them in short term or long term. Know the kind of help you wish to offer with regards to the capacity you have. Ask the representative/leader/contact from the target group on what they really need. Do not just assume. Plan wisely on how to make full use of the funds you have. In fact, the first thing to make sure is to choose the right target group.

I just think that it's such a waste to spend the funds/money/energy/time we have on things that are not really needed by the people.

Look at what the people really need, set target on how much we can possibly help, search for funds, and reassess on our capacity to help.

What is not right is to plan plan plan on what you want to help without paying attention to what the people really need. You have decided to spend your time and energy to help. Now, help with the right help. hand with the right hand. Give the right gift! Go, go, go! :)

In fact, this applies to not just humanitarian projects, but any project or programme organised. Be an objective-based organiser!
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i am just one girl with many dreams.
mahu mengarang cv hebat kononnya,
namun tertawa sendiri.

baris bakti konon tak terkata,
humanitarian, volunteering dikejar segala,
mahu merasa diri berguna,
namun kesannya tak seberapa.

tiba masa.
untuk mencari.
apa sebetulnya mampu mengisi.
mengisi ruang rekahan di bumi,
biar benar-benar mengisi.
bukan sekadar menutup di atas namun lompong di bawah.
bukan sekadar mencari sponsor dan menabur entah kemana,
bukan sekadar tampak di CV, harapku biarlah benar-benar merawat hati
biar menyinar dalam gelap
bukan menyinar dalam terik.

Mungkin lebih sukar untuk itu?
mungkin lebih titis peluh?
mungkin lebih cawan caffeine?
mungkin lebih kerut dahi?
tak mengapa.
Allah kira usaha mu.
tiap peluh, cawan dan kerut kamu,
takkan pernah rugi.

satu demi satu

berikanlah kesempatan buat diri mencari erti,

erti siapa diri, apa kucari, kemana pergi,

berikanlah kesempatan untuk ku belajar,

belajar mengerti jiwa luar lantas berbakti

agar dapat ku ambil cebisan harga diri,

kucantum jadi kibasan berseri.

Sungguh ku hilang dalam kabus,

kupercaya belum tertimbus

andai ku cuma mengikut jari 

kudoa hikmah jelma kembali